No Sir, you can’t ask about this cage.


What is so wrong of being stupid for your own life?
What is so wrong of being different?
What is so wrong of being dying while trying to chase dream?
what is so wrong of being too much sensitive of what people think of you?

So I ever heard once a news on TV about how a boy wanted to turn himself into a female because how felt so far that he had been caged in a wrong body.
In the same way, I found some people felt that they never found any best hood that totally support their ideas. what they did next wasn’t to move to another hood and expecting to find the right friends who could easily accept them, but they changed their prespective of what the hood said about them.
There is a huge fear of death and failure.

so huge that people can even see my doubtfulness. A fear of dying on the way before I could finish this race against common sense.

No one even think that this shit is a good idea to die… ahahahha… Thanks.
Is there any real freedom out there? I doubt that.

since we are all caged in what people say about us….

 what is the pride of being this bullshit.

How are you today?

So I work in here today and try to enjoy the hood. I don’t know, wether i am too weak or its because i am just waiting for the right time until i feel ready to break it down. So, I see those guys like feeling so bad because of what we got here isn’t the thing we used to imagine. I knew, but hey… Doest it really matter for me today?

I still the same guy who is crazy about space shit… I ain’t change. I don’t even have a certain answer to the question of “where would you live?”. yah, how am I supposed to answer that thing?. I mean, I dont even have a family by now, a wife to live with, a kid to take care of and rise. I dont have those thing, which I believe become the reason why i never got so busy to think of my future.
It is a very basic thing that everyone need a mate… A mate, like for the lifetime. A wife, a husband. I keep questioning myself if it is the cause of why this space nut shit keep stayin’ in my head. I am pretty lame in planning for myself. Yet one thing for sure, it is useless to make a huge plan if it’d take long time just to start up because of some reasons. It is then more like a mental masturbation, we all have been tired of that!!!!!!

So I just opened the same site i used to visit everytime I got my head heavy enough with those dissapointments. It turns out that it is impossible for me right now, maybe next year or some other times later.
So probably the only left possible scenerio is going to college, again.
That would a lil bit painful…
Oh my God

baiklah... it pleases me

baiklah… it pleases me

Anyway, today I join the SCADA team of a power grid company. I gotta say this is different, but I do like the environment. The people are great, the atmosphere is just real good. But, yeah like I said, its not me.. ahahaha

And thank God they already knew that its not ME!! Ofcourse there is always dissapoinTment. But I believe I’d better not to share in here.

The thing I should remember is perhaps this is the only thing i got to earn money, so i have to behave good… aahhahha..
secondly, It is a great technology I believe, just maybe not in line with my dream which doesn’t make it not important for me to learn. It is still about complex system on data aquisition.
Very well then… I gotta comprehend the whole system before “the time” arrive. I mean at least i have a reason why i should be on fire here.


ahh… finally, yah, I just tried hard to find a reason of why i am supposed to be on fire to work in here.

Being Dreaming

just had a blog walking, I felt kinda glad but jealous as well to know one of em. Someone who wrote proudly about her dreams and finally “just” could achieve almost most of those dreams. even though these dreams are just simple ones.

People usually say that I am a shy person, I am not even confident enough to answer when they ask about my dream.

Am I really this kind of guy??

Or, this girl who wrote her dreams on her blog had just written the blog after she could finally chase her dreams? ehehehe…

Ouh dude.. please.. I just remember that I never even wrote my dream anywhere in public pages. But, hey.. I guess today I am answering their questions.

I have to say this, honestly I never tell people what i do really wanted, until finally after graduating from my bachelor degree and being failed to get Europe scholarship I told my cousin about this dream, which has just failed.. ouh dear..

But of course this dream is completely different, I mean i don’t even list mine. i just have a big chunk inside my chest that i should spit it out as fighting rhyme one day. Ahaha… whaever..

So I come to a funny story about telling dream to someone else. I red about Planetary Resources from Larry Page state in Google + and then begun searching all about this wonderful idea. Nah.. I went to the career page on the website, and just took a look at the questionnaire, Wow!!! This is it!

I never saw an application pages like it. It is nothing about your education degree, but your dream.

Are you Space nut?


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.